DIYAM PAGE 46

 By

Maman Maama

Episode Forty Six: New Saghir

Jin yayi shiru kuma bai fita ba yasa na bude idona, na ganshi still a tsaye yana kallona, muna hada ido yace "me nayi miki me zafi haka Diyam? Still akan wannan dan iskan yaron ne ko? Saboda kina sonsa ne yasa kika tsane ni irin haka ko?" Na yaye abin rufar nace "don't bring Sadauki into this, babu ruwan Sadauki da tsakanin mu" yace "saboda an miki auren dole ne dani? It that it? Nima in kika tuna ba son auren nake yi ba lokacin da aka yishi" na girgiza kaina nace "ba dan an tilasta min aurenka bane ba Saghir. Su kansu wadanda suka tilasta min auren naka Inna da Alhaji ai ban rike su a zuciyata ba, babu komai a yanzu tsakanin mu sai kyautatawa da tausayi" yace "ni kuma fa Diyam? Menene nawa a ciki? Nasan ba kya sona but me yasa ba zaki bani dama ba?" 

Na mike tsaye ina jin zuciyata tana karyewa nace "you......raped......me" sai jikinsa yayi sanyi, nace "in ka manta da dakin nan yana magana zai tuna maka, na nuna gado na nace "here, anan ka dasa irin kiyayyar ka a zuciyata. I was only 14 years then, ranar baffana kwanansa 47 a kasa and you raped me".

Hawayene kawai suke bin fuskata, ya diririce "Diyam na baki hakuri ai, I was drunk, I wasn't....." Nace "shine excuse dinka? Giya ce excuse dinka? Bayan kuma har yau shanta kake yi? How can you raped me and then expect me to enjoy sexual relationships da kai? Tun ranar gini ai tun ranar zane. Ka dasa tsiron 茩inka a raina sannan kazo ka zuba masa taki when you killed my babies" sai kuka ya kwace min "you killed my babies and you left me to die a asibiti".

Sai ya taho da sauri ya jawo ni ya rungume ni, na fara ture shi amma yaki sakina har na hakura nayi ta kuka na a jikinsa. Yayi kissing forehead dina yace "Diyam ba zan iya dawo da baya ba, amma nayi alkawarin gyara gaba. Kome kike so zan yi miki Diyam in dai zan goge baya, banda saki because I can't. I love you".

 Knocking kofa akayi "Darling?" Fauziyya ta fada daga waje, na ture shi na hau kan gado na lulluba har kaina. Ina jinsa ya hawo yayi kissing Subay'a sannan ya fita gun darling din tasa.

Da safe tun dan tashi da assuba ban koma ba, fuskata duk ta kumbura tayi min nauyi saboda kukan da nasha jiya da dare na tausayin kaina da rayuwata. Yaushe zanji dadin aure ne ni? Na gabatar da adduoi na kamar kullum, ina rokon Allah ya bani ikon cin wannan jarabawar da nake ciki ta auren Saghir, idan har zama da Saghir shine mafi alkhairi abu a rayuwata Allah ya rage min kiyayyar sa daga zuciyata. Sannan kuma nayi addu'ar Allah ya bamu zaman lafiya da amarya. Dalilin da yasa na yarda da auren Saghir shine, ina ganin yin auren nasa wata hanya ce ta rage wa ksina tarin zunubin da nake dauka na gudunsa da nake yi, at least in da wata matar nasan wannan responsibility din ya ragu daga kaina.

Ina gamawa na sauka kitchen na fara fere dankali, sai ga murja nan ta shigo mu ka gaisa ta dauka ta fara tayani muna hirar mu, har muka gama na fara soyawa ita kuma tana soya kwai sai ga Saghir nan ya shigo, har yayi wanka yayi kwalliya, murja ta gaishe shi ta fita sai ya jawo stool ya zauna yana kallona "barka da assuba" nace ina kallon sa, yayi murmushi "good morning. Ina jin yunwa a bani abinci" nace "wai da so nake in hada muku kai da Fa'iza sai akai muku sama" yace "Fauziyya ba Fa'iza ba" na dafe kai "sorry. Fauziyya" ya girgiza kai "bacci take, ni kuma yinwa nake ji. Zubo min inci anan kawai" na zuba masa a plate na dora fork na mika masa, ya karba yace "naga Subay'a yau bacci take tayi" na hado masa tea na kawo masa na koma na cigaba da aikina shi kuma yana ci. Sai daya gama ya mike yazo bayana ya rungume ni yana shanshana gashina yace "am sorry Diyam kinji? I promise insha Allah zan saka ki murmushi more than yadda na saka ki kuka" ya juyo dani yace "da ace ina da dama da sai na bude nan" ya dora hannunsa a kirjina "na saka soyayya ta a ciki na rufe da kwado" na ture hannunsa ganin yana neman wuce gona da iri nace "stop it. Amarya tana sama tana jiranka" sai yayi murmushi kawai yace "zan fita. Sai na dawo".

Tare da murja muka gama aiyukan mu kamar kullum, sannan naje nayi wanka nayi wa Subay'a muka sauko muka fara cin abinci sai ga amarya ta sauko. Tana ta wani yayyatsina fuska, sai kawai na tsaya ina kallonta. Babu makeup din jiya, wannan ya sake fito da kamanninta sosai, sai nayi realizing ai na santa ma, tana daya daga cikin matan da suke zuwa har gida neman Saghir shi kuma yana ce min abokan aikin sa ne. Tazo ta zauna murja ta gaishe ta sai naga tana kallona irin kamar tana jira in gaisheta din nan tunda tana ganin ta girme ni. Nace "Subay'a ki gaishe da auntyn ki. Fa'iza ga Subay'a, koda yake nasan kin santa ma ai tun sanda kike zuwa" sai ta bini da kallo kawai. Na tashi na barta a dining nace "ga abinci nan Bismillah" 

Na koma sama ina mamakin wannan rayuwar. Ni in nice Saghir ya zanyi in auri saura na, ai sabuwa zanso wadda ban taba testing ba, no wonder yazo yana shashshafa ni da sassafe.

Rayuwa ta cigaba da tafiya, har Fauziyya tayi sati a gidan. A ranar ne kuma Saghir ya tubure. "Babu wata shekara, ban yarda na. Eh an baku dama kuyi kyautar kwana amma sai da amincewar mijin ni kuma nace ban amince ba" na daga gira ina kallonsa a raina ina cewa 'zakayi saki reshe kama ganye kuwa' a dole na na hakura na karbi kwana na. Dokin da yake sai daya sa naji tausayin Fauziyya. Ni kuma kamar an saukar min da bacin rai haka naji nayi zamana a dakina amma sai gashi ya taho. Ina game a waya ya karba ya ajiye yace "me kike so inyi miki ne Diyam? Kuka zanyi ne ko tsallen kwado?" Na juya masa baya nace "duk wanda ranka yafi so" sai ya hawo gadon ya fara yi min tausa. Yace "da gaske fa nake. Say it, anything, yanzu zaki ga anyi miki" na tashi na zauna yace "kudi kike so?" Sai ya dauko bandir din 500 notes ya ajiye min akan cinyata yace "ki shirya gobe in kaiki shopping ki sayi kayayyakin ku na mata, kayan kwalliya, jaka, takalmi anything" na mayar masa da kudin sa nace "ka sayi kayan abinci ka kai gidan Alhaji" ya dawo min da kudin yace "angama. Can we please go to my room? Kinga Subay'a tana nan".

Washegari kuwa ya fita dani, yayi ta lodo min kaya komai ya gani na mata sai ya dauka, "wannan zaiyi miki kyau, wannan ma yana da kyau, wannan zai dace dake" haka dai yayi ta fama. Muna dawowa gida muka tarar babu abinci, bata yi ba tunda girkina ne dan haka na shiga kitchen na dora da yake weekend ne Subay'a tana sama tare da Saghir suna kallo. Riga da wando ne a jikina kaina babu dankwali na daga gashina sama ina ta aiki na ina jin kida a waya ta sai naji kawai wani strange kamshi da ban sani ba, ina juyo wa sai naga wani mutum a tsaye a palo yana kallona muna hada ido sai cewa yayi "Fauziyya tana nan?" Ni kuwa na zunduma ihu ina kiran Saghir, sai kuwa gashi nan a guje ya sauko kafin mutumin ya fita. Ya damko shi yana tambayarsa lfy sai cewa yayi wai shi gurin Fauziyya yazo shi dan uwanta ne kuma ita tace mishi ya shigo. Ranar naga bala'i a gurin Saghir, daga Fauziyyan har bakon nata ya ha蓷a ya balbale su da fada daga baya ma ya ha蓷a har da maigadi wanda yayi ta faman rantsuwa a kan cewa shi bai san mutumin ya shigo ba. Ni dai na dauki yata muka koma sama nace ku kare kalau. 

Sai da daddare kuma Saghir yayi ta bani hakuri. Nace "duk wanda ya sayi rariya dama ai yasan zata zubar da ruwa. Tun da har ka auri yarinyar daka gama nema a waje ai kasan dole zata kawo maka maxa gida kaima. Duk abinda kayi ai kaima dole za'ayi maka. Haka rayuwa take" ya fahimci magana nake fada masa sai yace "kin san ai dalilin da yasa nayi auren nan ko? So nake kike kula dani yadda ya kamata sai nayi tunanin idan nayi aure kika ga wata tana kula dani kema zaki koya. Wannan shi yasa na auri Fauziyya saboda bana son in auri wata wadda itama bata iya din ba" a raina nace "oh, ita wannan ta iya din kenan"

Rayuwa ta cigaba da tafiya. Saghir har mamaki yake bani yadda yake yi min, gabadayansa ya chanja kuma duk abinda nace to kuwa zaiyi shi sai dai in bance din ba. Na saka shi ya ke kai kayan abinci gidan su, sannan kuma na daina jin warin giya a tare dashi duk da ban tabbatar ko ya daina sha ba. Fauziyya bata da problem, tana dai da daga kai da nuna irin ta fini dinnan amma tunda ta fahimci yadda Saghir yake ji dani sai ta ja baya. Bamu fiya zama muyi hira ba kowa harkar gabansa yake yi. In ranar girkin tane tayi ta iyayi da rawar kai ni kuma in ranar girkina ne Saghir yayi ta rawar kafa, duk da dai ba koda yaushe yake samun abinda yake so din ba dan wani lokacin rufe kofa ta nake in kashe waya, watarana kuma in naje in bata rai har sai ya hakura ya rabu dani. A lokacin ne kuma bikin Rumaisa ya tashi, za'a hada ayi tare dana yaya Mukhtar. Lokacin muna 22 years, tana kuma final year dinta a jami'a.

Bikin yana matsowa na tambayi Saghir sati biyu. Ya rike baki "sati biyu kuma Diyam? Kwana nawa za'ayi ana bikin da har zakiyi sati biyu?" Nace "nice fa babbar kawar amarya. In ina nan ta yaya zanyi shirye shirye?" Babu yadda zaiyi yace "shikenan" amma ina kira Mama na gaya mata zan taho tace "baki da hankali dama? Babu wani sati biyu da zaki zo kiyi, sati daya zakiyi shima kuma dan kina da abokiyar zama ne da ba zan barki ki taho ki barshi shi kadai ba" ranar har kuka nayi, I just needed a break from the house and from Saghir. 

Sai satin bikin sannan Saghir ya kaini gidan Mama. Ya kuma buga min warning "saura kuma ki shiga cikin yammata kuyi ta shiririta. Kinsan dai ke mai aure ce ko?" Nace "uhm" a raina ina mamakin wai yau Saghir ne yake kishi na. Ko yaushe zan fara nasa ni?

Munsha bikin mu lafiya mun gama lafiya. Da muka je dinner naga yadda Rumaisa take nishadi da mijinta sai naji wani longing a zuciyata. I missed all this, ni banyi yammatanci ba kuma babu abinda zan adar na bikina. Ranar Lahadi muka kai amarya dakin ta. Litinin kuma na biyo su Inna muka dawo gida tunda satin da aka bani bai kare ba sai nan da kwana biyu. Muna zuwa naji Maman Iman tana soya wainar fulawa sai na aika Asma'u ta karbo min na zauna ina ci. 

Ina tsaka da ci sai kawai jin sallamar Sadauki mukayi wai ashe duk mondays yake zuwa ya gaishe da Inna. Na sunkuyar da kaina ina jin wainar ta fita daga raina har ya shigo ya gaishe da Inna da Mama sannan na dago na gaishe shi. Ya amsa yace "ya family?" Sai na kasa reply. Ya mike zai tafi Mama tace "oh Sadauki kaki aure har yanzu? Ko so kake ayi maka kidan tuzuru ne?" Ta tsaya yana shafa kansa, muka hada ido yace "an kusa ai mama insha Allah" Inna tace "alhamdulillah, ai gwara ayi din, aure ai shine cikar kamala da kimar mutum. An sami matar kenan" yace "eh, a can gida ne. A Maiduguri ne" sai naji wainar dana ci duk ta tattaro ta dawo makogwaro na, da sauri na mike na shiga toilet sai da na amayo duk wainar da naci.